Last night Kev and I watched the movie "Julie and Julia." I LOVED it!! I found the story cute and the acting was great. More than that, though, I found it very inspirational. Basically a movie about two women who find their passion in life the message was clear: Do what you love, and love what you do. However after the movie was over I was left feeling a little, well, sad. I love my life, my children, my husband. I would NEVER, and I mean this with every fiber of my being, trade what I have for anything else. Yet it is normal for me to feel as though something is missing, something inside of myself that just isn't "right." I am missing my personal passion...Not the passion I find in being a mommy or a wife, both of which are on a level all its own...but a passion inside of me for something larger than me. A fire. A spark.
I used to find passion in music, and I still do. However when I tried to pursue this passion in college I found the schedule so stressful that I began to lose the passion. Doing what I loved constantly caused my love to dwindle. So, I quit my studies as a music major. After that I did a lot of musicals, played in some community groups, etc. Since moving to Minnesota, though, I have not found a way to replace that...I went from having music in my life all of the time to not having it at all. I have looked for local groups here but have come up empty handed. I have offered to tutor music students but with no luck.
I am at the point now where I feel as though I need something new to keep me going, to light my inner passion. Art perhaps? But I'm not really very good....I enjoy writing, but I never really know what to write about...
All of this is why I would like to ask Santa this year for a little bit of inspiration. I want some of my fire back...some of my passion....And if he can't deliver, well, I don't know who can.
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