Going Away For A While

Sadly I will be going away, taking a break from Blogging for a while. As we do not have Internet at my apartment, or a working computer for that matter, I have been relying on my lunch times at work to blog. As of tomorrow I will not be at work for a while...this will most likely significantly hinder my blogging. I will try to keep facebook updated via my cellphone so that I am not totally out of the loop.....Oh technology, how I will miss you!

Update: 38 weeks

Here is just a pregnancy update....

Today I am 38 weeks along, and to be honest I feel every day. Went to the doctor today and got some medicine...I have been feeling very nauseous again and have had terrible insomnia. Frankly I am worried that if I were to go into labor today or tomorrow I would be too exhausted to do much about it. Other than that not much has changed...I was a little disappointed when she told me that I had not dilated more but she reassured me that since this is my 3rd baby I will probably not dilate more until the "hard labor" hits. (Hate that term, Hard Labor. I think all labor is hard.)

This has been a REALLY tough week...My neighbor from our house in Zimmerman lost her baby this weekend. She was due ONE DAY after me!!! For some reason that they still don't know between her weekly appointments her baby stopped breathing. She had to go through labor and have the baby stillborn...a seemingly healthy baby girl over 6 lbs and 19 inches. No cord around the neck, no apparent physical issues....They just don't understand it. Frankly, it scared me SHITLESS (sorry for the language but I think it fits here). I know logically that means nothing for me or my pregnancy but that logical side of me doesn't seem to matter when the emotional side gets involved. I feel so badly for her, I cannot imagine that. A miscarriage is hard enough...now she has had a miscarriage and a stillbirth and she's only 17. On top of it her brother was killed last week in a car accident. He was 21. Sometimes I don't understand life.

Sweatpants!!! YES!!!

It's a happy day for a pregnant mommy...My boss gave me permission to wear comfy pants to work. This includes sweatpants and/or sports pants...and sweatshirts! YES! I cannot tell you what wonderful news this is! :D It seems I bought my maternity pants too early because I only have one pair that fit now. So not only does the fact that I can wear comfy close make me more comfortable, but it keeps me from having to go out and spend a ton of money on pants I will only wear for a few more weeks anyways. YES! :D You know, sometimes it's the small things in life that really make a difference in whether you have a good day or a bad day...

Good Mommy/Bad Mommy

Once again I was alone this past weekend with the girls and I am sad to say that it became a "Good Mommy/Bad Mommy" weekend. Ellie has arrived at the age where she has an opinion about everything (can't imagine where she gets that from!) and isn't afraid to tell you. According to my oldest I did several things this weekend that made me a good mommy. These included:

Played blocks
Bought the girls their Halloween costumes
Watched "A Tigger Movie"
Let Ellie have pizza for dinner
Took them to get a treat when we were in Wal-Mart


Of course, with all of this I also did some "bad mommy" things. These included:

Decided it was Emma's turn to choose a book and not Ellie's
Didn't tuck her bedsheets in right at bedtime
Didn't let her watch a fifth episode of "Max and Ruby"
Wouldn't let her play in the snow when we went out to the car (I can't believe I used the S word)
I yelled at her for closing the closet door on her sister

For me personally I thought I was doing alright most of the weekend. I didn't really get the "Bad Mommy" feeling until Ellie got REALLY mad and said that she wanted to "call her daddy" because he would "tell mommy to be nice." Why is it that kids always long for the parent who is never there? Why is it that I feel jealous when I go out of my way to make sure that Ellie and Emma both are happy, safe and sound and all they want is their daddy? Who took Ellie to her first movie last weekend? Who sits through an entire season of Scooby Doo? Who, at 36 weeks pregnant, still bends down to do a Tidal Wash at bath time?? That would be me, folks! I want them to love their daddy, to miss him, to be happy when he's home...I honestly do. Ugh. I don't know. I think being around my little ones is starting to make me think less like an adult and more like a child.

Been A While

Man, it has been a while since I posted last!! This could be because I have (almost literally) been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. My days have been a blur of going to work, running errands, coming home to 2 very active little girls, doing more work, tossing and turning, sleeping a little...then getting up and doing it all again. On top of it both Ellie and Emma were sick with colds. (Lord I cannot wait for the day when they learn how to really blow their noses!) Of course there is always the regular stuff to get done, like paying bills, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, getting baby stuff ready, and the list goes on. In fact I gave up on keeping a list...it's too depressing.

Kevin has been gone for 2 weeks now and it seems an eternity. I am EXHAUSTED!! He's been gone so long that when Ellie was talking to another little girl yesterday she told her that her daddy was "Dead and Gone." Where that came from I will never know but I made sure to reinforce to Kev that he needs to get his rear end home SOON.