Escape Artist

Any of you who are familiar with my family, specifically Ellie, will know that she likes to escape. When she was about 2 she ran out of the house in winter clad only in a diaper and boots, carrying her Easter basket. The neighbor girls found her, brought her home to Kevin ( I was at work). Then, not long ago, she and Emma escaped the apartment and went up to dad's. This was on a day Kev got up with the girls and had promptly fallen asleep on the couch. Not cool. Like the other two, this latest escapade occurred while I was at work, or in this case just came in from work.

This past Friday when I got home things were really crazy at my house. I had just finished a very loooong day of team meetings and was feeling quite frazzled. Anyways, when I came in the door it was obvious that everything was about to explode. Kevin was fuming at the girls (another post entirely), the girls were pissed at Kevin, and Elana was screaming her head off because that's what she does. For some reason Kevin was sending Ellie and Emma to their rooms. Well, as I was getting Elana to change her diaper Ellie decided to go and hide so she wouldn't have to go to her room. After repeatedly calling her name and searching the apartment I told Kevin I though she had gone out of the apartment again. I ran out into the hall and walked towards Dad's, figuring that is where she was going. She was nowhere to be found. I ran up and down the calls calling her name, but with no luck. I ran outside, afraid she had gone out the front door and had been unable to get back in due to our security system. No sign of her. I ran, I looked, I called, I cried. Nothing. At this point even Dad was helping me look. Not seeing her anywhere I ran back inside and met dad halfway. "Kev found her", he said. Sigh! I ran into the apartment, tears still streaming down my face. There she was, like nothing happened.

So where was our little Houdini?? She had crawled under the bathroom sink (don't ask me how) and had hid there. We had a nice looong talk about why it's not nice to hide from mommy and daddy...then she was promptly sent to her room, which is what she was trying to get out of in the first place.

Single Husband

It will come as no big shocker to anyone reading this that for the last few months I have been cold. Not just sometimes cold, not a little chilled here and there....Just Plain Cold. Of course, I am living in Minnesota so what do I expect, right?! Well, to get a break from that, amongst other things, I am going to visit my mom in Arizona for my birthday this year. I will fly out on the 10th and return the 15th. Doug, my stepdad, gets a lot of free flights from his work so this won't really be costing me much at all. Plus it will be WARM! Not too warm mind you...Hopefully not the 120 degrees it was when I went out in June for my mom's wedding. That's a bit much for me. Mom says it will be just like I like it, and I am putting my trust in that ;)

Anyways, the big deal with this whole thing is that Kev will be alone with the girls that entire week. Dad has agreed to help out so that my hubby doesn't TOTALLY lose his mind, but I still have concerns. I can't tell you the stories I hear when I get home from work each day. They are enough to stop the heart of any working mom. I try explaining that things might go more smoothly if he were to put some structure into the girls days...So far, though, chaos is rampant. I'm sure it will be no different when I am gone for a couple days in a row. Ellie will probably escape again, Emma will probably eat her weight in pennies and Elana will probably just sit back and take it all in. Lord help me.

Date Day

Kevin and I had a much needed Date Day this past Monday. We got up early (nothing new in my household) and headed on out. First was a stop at Half Price Books (love, love, love!!) and Panera for breakfast. Then we headed down to the Mall of America. For any of my friends who love to shop, you better get out here before we move back to Michigan in July 2011 so I can take you there!! I LOVE IT!! I know a lot of folks in MN aren't so big on it but for me it's just heaven on earth. We shopped, we ate, we shopped some more,....Ok, I mostly shopped and Kevin mostly watched, but so what ;) Ended up getting a super cute pairs of jeans that are supposed to be $40 for $11 :D YES!!!!

The shopping was wonderful, the food was great....but what was most important was the fact that Kev and I got to spend some time together. We were able to talk without cartoons blaring in the background. We got to sit and eat without constantly begging Emma to sit in her chair. AND I could go to the bathroom without worrying about whether or not one of my children has escaped and is running naked through the hallways...Not that this has ever happened ;)

2 Year Anniversary

Today is my two year anniversary at Goodwill. To be honest, it barely seems like 6 months. I can't believe it. Because we have moved so much I have never actually been at one job for this long before. I feel quite accomplished. I love my co-workers and (most of the time) the people I serve. Yes, like every job it has it's moments......Every day is an adventure. For example, today I had an individual tell me that his job goal is to either be a Carnie or to work as a nark for the police. Hmmm....not really easy to job develop for those lines of work, but hey, to each his own. Every day I learn a little something, and hopefully I am helping myself in working towards my goal of returning to school. The plan right now is to go back for a masters in counseling, specifically Marriage and Family Therapy. I think Kev is a little worried about this...but at least then when I give him advice I will have a degree to back it up ;)

It Must Be Love

I know that my last few posts have been somewhat, well...Depressing. That is so not like me, and it's certainly not a representation of the me I want to be. So here is a happy post about something that made my heart melt yesterday.

The ritual in our house at night after the older girls are in bed has become that I usually do some crafty stuff, play with Elana and watch TV...Kevin usually is on the computer. Well, last night at 7:00 I sat down to tune into that evenings showing of The Bachelor. I couldn't believe it when Kev came and sat down next to me!!!! The look on my face must have said it all because he simply said, "I'll watch this with you if you want." WHAT?!?! If there are any men out there who like this show, my husband is certainly not one of them. In the end I didn't make him watch it...but it certainly wasn't because he didn't offer. If a man offers to watch a girly reality show with you, well....It must be love!

Runner Up Mommy?

Lately I have been having a lot of thoughts about what type of mother I am. My conclusion?? Not the best. I know a few things for sure-
I try my hardest every day to give each of my girls love and attention.
I do my best to help my girls grow into the women they are supposed to be
I try to accept each of my girls for who they are and not compare them to each other
I try to balance lessons with love, education with acceptance

Sounds great, right? So what's the problem? Well...time. That's my main obstacle. I work 40 + hours per week, keep the house clean, sometimes cook dinner, etc. I run out of time for it all...And sometimes I run out of patience. I don't have time to make sure that everything my girls eat is healthy. I don't have time to choose the best, most organic of choices. I don't even have time to seek out and buy the best educational toys out there. I should have time for these things, and so many more. I try to make the time for these things. But trying and doing are two totally different things!!!

What are my girls going to remember of me when they get older? Will they remember that their mommy always tried her hardest to make things good for them? Or will they simply remember that their mommy always tried but never succeeded? Will they even know I tried?? Truth be told, I try not to ask these questions too much because the possible answers do nothing but terrify me.

I want to be the best Mommy I can be--Number One to my girls. However, I am terrified that I won't make it. And I don't want to settle for Runner Up.

Valentines Day Part 2

So as you read in my previous post, I was planning a huge surprise for Kevin. It was my hope that I could get his oldest two girls, Kayla and Samantha, out here for a visit over their winter break. I am sad to say that my plans are not going to work out. I will spare a lot of the details because it will just get me all worked up again...But I will say this. Everybody was willing to help except the girls mother. I all made but made it as easy as possible for her as it could get. Kev's brother even got in on it and said he would help in with pick-up/drop-off if Ivy had to work. Still, no go. We will try again to plan a trip in April, when the girls are on spring break.

And Jill----I am sorry that a visit didn't work out as well. Now that I am done paying the bill for having Elana, hopefully our cash flow will even out enough to make this possible. Damn those kids are expensive!! ;)

Valentines Day Plans Part 1

So I am trying to set up this huge surprise for Kevin on Valentines Day. It has been way too long since he's seen the girls, and we just haven't had the money for the trip back to MI that we've been wanting to take. However, I figured out a way to come up with a little cash...enough to get the girls here for a visit. My plans are (hopefully) this: Wake Kevin up early on the 14th, drive to somewhere in IL to meet Ivy and the girls and bring them back for a few days. He would have no idea what's going on until we are in the car. Sounds great, right? Well, there is only one thing standing in the way...Ivy. I spoke to her the other day on the phone and she wasn't sounding too thrilled with the idea...I'm not really sure why, to tell you the truth. She knows the girls miss their dad and need to see him as badly as he does them. She knows we are tight for money, but shouldn't complain b/c she is still getting her child support. I explained that I wanted to meet in Rockford, which by the way is a longer drive for me than her. Still she wasn't sure. Her reason was that Kayla has basketball practice. Really?! It's the only break they will have for a while, which means the only chance they will have for a visit for a while. And she's worried about a 10 year olds basketball practice? This is the reason so many of our attempts to visit have never really worked out. Ugh. I live Ivy, I do...I just hope she sees how important this is and how much it would mean to the girls to see their dad. Keep your fingers crossed, updates to follow!!